2 years or 5 years from now i want to be able to wear this label, i want to drive this car, i want my husband to take me for romantic vacations to new places every year, to take me out to fancy dinners every now and then, to surprise me on and off....for a normal girl,my age,the wishlist is 'Draupadi's saree',you keep tugging at it and it just never ends.
We want a job that gets us designer labels and a luxury car.That's still fine.But where the irony starts is that we want a man who can fund expensive holidays every year and then we want him to be the 'Shahrukh Khan' of romance as well. And then we wanna be in love,all of us do and that too desperately.
So girls, when you re looking for a guy,it ll only happen with the luckiest of us that a candidate satisfies both the criteria.So what do you do in a situation otherwise?
You meet a guy who is rich and you know he can fulfill all your luxury needs but he is not SRK.You do all you can or if luck favours you,you end up in a relationship with him.Now you sulk and complain to him that he is not 'romantic' .The poor guy starts bringing you flowers,takes you out for dinners even though that's not his nature (probably because he does'nt have time from earning the big bucks for you! Damn when will all you bollywood freaks understand that SRK gets paid for doing all that mushy stuff!) but he does his best to find his happiness in your's.Although i know the sulking never ends but still, as an end result you have a tamed boyfriend or husband,you love or pretend to love.
Now let's consider the opposite situation, you meet a guy, he sweeps you right off your feet, he is practically SRK !!! It's so rosy,it's a dream come true! You feel you live in a movie. Chair-pulling, door-opening, flower-sending,chocolate-bringing,song-singing Casanova who has come right out of Mills&Boons.You feel you've hit the love jackpot.There's no surpassing your love story in the world.You feel you could spend all your life without eating,sleeping or working ;just sitting hand in hand with him. But then DING DONG reality strikes.He does'nt earn enough to give you a luxurious life or maybe not even enough to give you a basic normal life. Now what? Here's what mostly happens.The fellow is so much in love with you by this time,you manage to convince him to work like a labourer or give up what he loves, to do something BIG and earn you BIG BUCKS. Yes, i have seen cases where the girl chooses to work hard like a labourer too
to make ends meet but that's little lesser. At least, in India financial earnings is mostly a judgement criteria for the male, when it comes to matrimony. So finally the poor fellow ,who does'nt wanna lose you, sacrifices his interests and does whatever he can to earn the big bucks. Again you have a tamed fellow you again love or pretend to love.And mind you,here the sulking gets worse because the poor guy sweats out so hard all day, he does'nt find the time to get flowers and stuff and now the very well known line gets thrown at his face "You're not the same anymore''.
In either case you change something about the person and still you dont feel the magic. Watching the movie 'Barfi' just reinforced in me today what i always believed. Love is what happens, not something you do. Is'nt love all about acceptance? Since when did love become about wanting? Love is a feeling, not a desire. Even the mere thought of having that person or possessing that person is not love-that's a want, a need or a desire. Love is just what you feel for that person - and just that. Full stop. Nothing more, nothing less. Rest is all what we attach with love and then get jumbled up in ourselves.
Jhilmil (Priyanka Chopra) just flows with the stream of love that originates in her heart and she ends up taken care of. Involving our brains,our emotions and all the jing bang leaves nothing of the origin that was love. This is shown through the 'wise' girl Ileana's character, Shruti, who gives up her love for worry about her future and still ends up unhappy. On the other hand, Jhilmil does'nt have the capability to expect all the lovey dovey cliche' stuff out of her lover and just loves him for who he is to her.
The movie left me thinking that if two people who lack some basic abilities can live their life so happily by finding love in each other, where is the issue with normal people like us? Is it that we tend to let our stupid expectations or our worries rule us and complicate the beautiful things like love that God plants in our hearts?
Since we have much more than is required to be happy, we do not value the Creation's gifts in our lives. Jhilmil and Barfi could find extreme joy in spitting watermelon seeds on a glass whereas Shruti could not smile even in a bungalow,covered from head to toe in riches. Such vast difference because when love knocked on Shruti's door,she let her brain conquer but Jhilmil just went flowing with her heart .
We want a job that gets us designer labels and a luxury car.That's still fine.But where the irony starts is that we want a man who can fund expensive holidays every year and then we want him to be the 'Shahrukh Khan' of romance as well. And then we wanna be in love,all of us do and that too desperately.
So girls, when you re looking for a guy,it ll only happen with the luckiest of us that a candidate satisfies both the criteria.So what do you do in a situation otherwise?
You meet a guy who is rich and you know he can fulfill all your luxury needs but he is not SRK.You do all you can or if luck favours you,you end up in a relationship with him.Now you sulk and complain to him that he is not 'romantic' .The poor guy starts bringing you flowers,takes you out for dinners even though that's not his nature (probably because he does'nt have time from earning the big bucks for you! Damn when will all you bollywood freaks understand that SRK gets paid for doing all that mushy stuff!) but he does his best to find his happiness in your's.Although i know the sulking never ends but still, as an end result you have a tamed boyfriend or husband,you love or pretend to love.
Now let's consider the opposite situation, you meet a guy, he sweeps you right off your feet, he is practically SRK !!! It's so rosy,it's a dream come true! You feel you live in a movie. Chair-pulling, door-opening, flower-sending,chocolate-bringing,song-singing Casanova who has come right out of Mills&Boons.You feel you've hit the love jackpot.There's no surpassing your love story in the world.You feel you could spend all your life without eating,sleeping or working ;just sitting hand in hand with him. But then DING DONG reality strikes.He does'nt earn enough to give you a luxurious life or maybe not even enough to give you a basic normal life. Now what? Here's what mostly happens.The fellow is so much in love with you by this time,you manage to convince him to work like a labourer or give up what he loves, to do something BIG and earn you BIG BUCKS. Yes, i have seen cases where the girl chooses to work hard like a labourer too
to make ends meet but that's little lesser. At least, in India financial earnings is mostly a judgement criteria for the male, when it comes to matrimony. So finally the poor fellow ,who does'nt wanna lose you, sacrifices his interests and does whatever he can to earn the big bucks. Again you have a tamed fellow you again love or pretend to love.And mind you,here the sulking gets worse because the poor guy sweats out so hard all day, he does'nt find the time to get flowers and stuff and now the very well known line gets thrown at his face "You're not the same anymore''.
In either case you change something about the person and still you dont feel the magic. Watching the movie 'Barfi' just reinforced in me today what i always believed. Love is what happens, not something you do. Is'nt love all about acceptance? Since when did love become about wanting? Love is a feeling, not a desire. Even the mere thought of having that person or possessing that person is not love-that's a want, a need or a desire. Love is just what you feel for that person - and just that. Full stop. Nothing more, nothing less. Rest is all what we attach with love and then get jumbled up in ourselves.
Jhilmil (Priyanka Chopra) just flows with the stream of love that originates in her heart and she ends up taken care of. Involving our brains,our emotions and all the jing bang leaves nothing of the origin that was love. This is shown through the 'wise' girl Ileana's character, Shruti, who gives up her love for worry about her future and still ends up unhappy. On the other hand, Jhilmil does'nt have the capability to expect all the lovey dovey cliche' stuff out of her lover and just loves him for who he is to her.
The movie left me thinking that if two people who lack some basic abilities can live their life so happily by finding love in each other, where is the issue with normal people like us? Is it that we tend to let our stupid expectations or our worries rule us and complicate the beautiful things like love that God plants in our hearts?
Since we have much more than is required to be happy, we do not value the Creation's gifts in our lives. Jhilmil and Barfi could find extreme joy in spitting watermelon seeds on a glass whereas Shruti could not smile even in a bungalow,covered from head to toe in riches. Such vast difference because when love knocked on Shruti's door,she let her brain conquer but Jhilmil just went flowing with her heart .
wow, lot of problems (desires) in girls life. Guys......Guys are robots. will follow orders to keep their bosses happy whether at home or office. ....right? :P
ReplyDeleteYes my dear friend, desires and expectations dont end be it a boy or a girl. since i have written from a girl's point of view, my blog discusses just that. And we all are robots. Fulfilling someone or the other's expectations all the time. I do not intend to sound feminist here,but women are placed on pedestals and judged all the time. So,it's not about being a man or woman,instead, it's all about whether we choose to live our life for ourselves or pleasing others. Love does not involve giving your self up totally and pleasing the other. In fact true love brings the best out of the person.
Deleteha ha ha...human is the most greedy animal neha....he/she will only go towards where its their benefit. unconditional love is hard to find these days...
ReplyDeletebtw very nicely written n very true :) i like ur blog..write more often
Thanks Adil. and I shall definitely make efforts to write more often and hopefully better everytime. And yes unconditional love is hard to find if you are desperately looking for it in a 'love story' kind of way,i mean looking for it in a partner but many a times in this crazy search we neglect the beauty of life,in which there is unconditional love all around us.For one i'm sure you'll agree with me our parents love us unconditionally. Besides that our friends,lot of other family members,our pets do love us unconditionally. i would go too much out of track if i discussed it in the blog above but it is a strange phenomenon for us to associate the word love only with a partner.
DeleteHey gal interesting read, nicely expressed. I would say the issue with the whole falling in love is we often are mistaken what are in love with. I feel most of the time we are not in love with that individual but we are in love with the feeling of being in love ( walking in cloud feeling )We dont take time to understand what is tht uniqueness in a person we are falling for? thats the major reason when that feeling ( excitment )disappears so does the love coz v never took time to knw the person rt !
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot dear. I totally agree with you, it is very important to distinguish what we are in love with,whether it's not just the idea of being in love that we are falling for.
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